Captain's Blog, Stardate... uh... sigh. Figures my communicator would die right now. Sometime I should actually put a clock in here. Anyways, we are just finishing up our latest refit, and while I'm dreading having to learn my own ship all over again, at least they finally granted my request to have the Captain's Shuttle re-instated. Not that I've ever needed to use it in an episode ever before, but I miss my FleeT Cruiser. Sure, the thing is leaking oil like crazy, and the CD player doesn't work, and I haven't seen my keys since Season 1, but still... it's a little slice of home, and I'll take what I can get. Plus, Jed Jenkins is working on it right now, and says it oughta be purring like Tolstoy's kitten by the time we ship out.

The Fleet has had a troubling trend regarding Academy graduates the last several stardates, and that is the rising number of Ship Design majors versus the dwindling number of Ship Repair majors. As a result, many starbases have had no other way to deal with damaged or otherwise-in-need-of-upgrading vessels than to simply do a refit every time. While some people -- mostly admirals -- enjoyed the fact that practically the entire Fleet got a facelift on a regular basis, none of them have had to actually serve on any of those constantly-changing ships... except, of course, for the technical writers, who have plenty of work to do continually revising the Ship Operating Procedure manuals.

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Episode 62: It's a Rap!

Captain's Blog, Stardate: Season Finale. The trip to Andoria actually was fairly uneventful, contrary to expectations, and we all came away unscathed. That is, except for our Security Chief, Lt. Yarrrrr, who slipped on a small oil slick and fell and hit her head, putting her out of commission. As the Embassy medics took her away, she seemed frustrated, mumbling something about it "not being the way the contract was supposed to end" and her Academy loans. Women are weird. Anyways, I'm riding out the rest of the trip to Starbase Johnny 5 hoping absolutely nothing will happen.

"We're here already?" Captain Clerk had barely sat down in his Ready Room when his navigator walked in and gave him the news.

"Aye, Captain," said Lt. Eric with a smile. "I found a shortcut. We didn't even have to go over Warp 4!"

Wait, how do you...? Never mind. Best not to ask questions. "Uh, good job. Have Kato no--"

"She's already worked everything out. We even found a good parking spot!"

I leave the Bridge for five minutes and suddenly everybody goes into hyper-productivity mode. I get it, I get it.

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So... should I change my FleetBookTM status from "it's complicated" to "in an on-again-off-again relationship...again"?

Captain Clerk sat on his bed, staring blankly out his window, still trying to process what had happened the night before. Sure, he and Safeway had gotten back together before, but this time it was... weird. Perhaps it was the overall daze he had been in that night. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't even been asked. She just said it should happen and it did. He wasn't really involved in that decision, which, for all he knew, had taken place in front of Safeway's bathroom mirror as she brushed her hair that morning.

With all of this drama rolling around in his head, Clerk just couldn't handle being a Captain today. Or maybe he just didn't want Info to see him like this, because he knew it would be question after question. Regardless, he called in a Personal Day Off and attempted to relax.

The ringing doorbell didn't help.

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Episode 60: 2nd Generation Copy

Meanwhile, on another ship called Secondprize...

Captain Willie T. Wrecker stood in front of the bathroom mirror, nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. It was the morning of the first day of his first starship command. Sure, he was getting the Secondprize 2.0[beta], the big shiny new ship that was going to be the testing ground for all new technologies (thereby guaranteeing that something would be broken at all times), but still... a command is a command, and his four fateful weeks as Captain Clerk's First Officer were now ancient history. Not that he would ever hear the end of it anytime soon. Today, however, he faced one of the most monumental career decisions he'd ever have to make, one he'd dreaded ever since he got the assignment, but that he knew was inevitable:

To beard, or not to beard?

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Captain's Blog, Stardate: Date night. I can't believe I'm going through with this. "Admiral" Kathy has asked me out to go see some band I've never heard of, and then get some pizza afterwards. I'm really nervous. She says it's "just a friend thing", but I've heard that from her before...

Captain James Edgar Clerk did not know what to wear.

Not that he was one of those people who would look at a closet full of clothes and say he had "nothing to wear", of course, but he was in a bit of a quandary. His closet didn't have a whole lot in it; mostly it was just a few uniforms (including that horrid green "captains only" tunic) and those last few band t-shirts that don't fit anymore, but he can't bring himself to dispose of them. None of this, of course, was appropriate for a "date with an admiral".

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