Category: Season 2


Venetian IV is one of the lovelier planets in this part of the galaxy, which naturally makes it ideal for special gatherings, of which the ever-popular Ancestor thing is one of the better-known. It's standard practice, of course, to hold such things in the best place you can. It certainly helps with recruitment. So, year after year, everybody -- crews and family alike -- made the all-too-familiar trek.

The ensigns love it because they get better food during this period of time.

The Secondprize was now in day 3 of its week-long stay at the planet, which was half botanical gardens and half hotels. "Come for the gardens, stay at the hotels!" read the advertisements, which were everywhere. Why they spent so much time and money advertising for a place you're already at always eluded Captain Clerk.

The downside to being at such a place at such a time was that people were coming and going at a far greater rate than usual, which is a nightmare for security (as if security wasn't a nightmare already). It's all too easy to let a few people slip through the cracks. So easy, in fact, that most people, upon seeing an unfamiliar face, begin introducing themselves and the ship. It gets really embarrassing when one does that to somebody who's served on the ship for several years.

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Episode 39: Semi-Ultimatum

Captain's Blog, Stardate... um... this thing keeps blinking "12:00" so I have no idea. Anyways, we are still in orbit around Venetian IV, holding various conferences and all that. However, we have just received a call from some unknown, masked individuals who apparently have some sort of deal to make, or threat, or something. I have a theory or two as to what they're up to, but I haven't yet gotten that information out of them.

Clerk stopped the recording and handed the recorder over to Yeoman Rind, who promptly took it to the Podcast Room for publishing.

"Now that you are done with your little diary, Captain Clerk, can we talk now?" the main masked man, who was still on screen, said after a pause and a sigh.

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Episode 40: Admiral Jenkins?

Immediately, Captain Clerk called a Senior Officers meeting. It was tough to find a meeting place, however, what with Convention Week still in full swing. Since every single conference room was filled, everybody crammed into the Ready Room. Clerk, Klaa'ck, Flüshaht, Whatsisname, Wharf, Rind, Doubledecker, Cecil, Youlla, and Kato all squeezed their way into a room meant for no more than three people.

Moving binders, technical manuals, and CDs to clear his seat, Clerk began.

"I'll forego the roll call this time since we're in a bit of a pinch. Let's get down to business. What information have we been able to get on these guys?"

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The U.S.S. Secondprize arrived more or less on time at Stevia II, and Captain Clerk was ready to just get the whole thing over with. It was bad enough that he had to do a hostage negotiation (after having only made a D in Negotiation Tactics at the Academy), but it was for Jed Jenkins of all people. After an hour or two of repeating to himself "I am motivated to do this. I am motivated to do this" he was finally ready. He assembled an away party, including Rind (to keep things in order) and Shenanigans (for intimidation), then steeled himself for his next task:

Dealing with the transporter operator.

Despite the Fleet's latest advances in android technology, the resident transporter operator was an actual robot. No fake skin, no attempt to emulate human functions, just a bipedal hunk of metal. With a lisp. His name was CUL8R, and his perennially-rusted exterior was at least mostly covered by his uniform.

Clerk and company walked into the transporter room, in a hurry because they only had about five minutes until the meeting.

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Captain's Blog, Stardate:  Mid-morning on the last day of Convention Week! It's about time! After all that's gone on these last several days, I am beyond ready for what is always the highlight of the week for me: the Captains' Brunch! Few things invigorate a Starship Captain better than getting together with other captains to hang out, share ideas, and tell old war stories. Though I gotta say, I'm glad they backed off from quarterly brunches, 'cause some of these guys are better for you in smaller doses.

Captain Clerk put on his nicest uniform (which only ever gets worn to these brunches) with a smile, a deep breath, and, it must be said, a little lingering nervousness. Sure, he'd gotten used to these things for the most part, but old neuroses die hard (and Clerk's really only take vacations). Plus, not every captain is as chummy as Captain Johnny "Golden" Arches -- there are always the Feltys and the "Old School" Nezbomb wannabes. This time, however, Clerk was prepared with a fresh bottle of Klonipin, after finally relenting and calling Lt. Ethel at the last moment.

He was pretty sure he heard her weep for joy upon hearing him ask to schedule an appointment.

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