SPACE: THE TRITE FRONTIER. THESE ARE THE EPISODES OF THE STARSHIP SECONDPRIZE. ITS SIXTY MINUTE MISSION: TO EXPLORE LARGE, EXPENSIVE SETS, TO SEEK OUT NEW COSTUME CHANGES AND OLD GUEST STARS, TO GET THE HIGHEST RATINGS POSSIBLE, AND TO REPEATEDLY GO WHERE PLENTY OF PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY BEEN.
IN HD (WHERE AVAILABLE).
Lt. Cmdr. Georgie “Rainbow” LaGrange normally used the ship’s built-in recorder for his personal recordings, but he needed to test his portable recorder so he could sell it on FleetBay®. He wasn't happy about it, but he didn't want to have to sell the device “as is.”
He pressed Record. “Dear Diary, I really hope this thing works so I don't have to record this all over again. Plus, it's worth 150 credits if it's not broken. Don't let me down.
Captain’s Blog, Stardate OH MAN. YOU GUYS. I'M AN ADMIRAL. I got back from my 5-season mission, and the higher-ups reviewed my performance, and lo and behold, I got a promotion! I don't really understand why, but I think it’s best not to ask questions in this case. No sense in looking a gift sehlat in the mouth. Admiral Nezbomb said something about me “doing less damage” here. I don't get it. At any rate, being an admiral rocks! I get to wear a polo shirt even when it’s not a Friday, the local starbase has a docking bay with my name on it, and I got a real neat watch! And if I don't wanna wear the polo shirt, the new Fleet uniforms are practically pajamas. Pajamas! What luxury! What thread count! I got a nice cushy desk job, I’m married to my high school sweetheart, and I’m loving life!
Emergency situations are one thing, but Movie Night is something else altogether, and there was no way the crew of the Secondprize was gonna miss out on anything. The crew assembled in the Recreation Deck, and Admiral Jimi Clerk arrived just as the cartoons ended. The room went dark, and the broadcast began.
Captain’s Blog, Stardate: Hammer Time. I still haven’t yet gotten used to being an Admiral, but I’ve more or less gotten used to being called Capt-I-Mean-Admiral. So I guess they haven’t gotten used to it either. Anyway, on to business. Here’s the deal: Captain Billard Doubledecker has been missing ever since I took over the Secondprize. The Fleet hates to waste a good captain, of course, so we’ve been sent to go find him. He was last seen at Fleet Headquarters in Burbank running around the courtyard like a madman, shouting “Ollie Ollie Oxen Free!!!” and flailing his arms around like an inflatable tube guy. This is going to be fun…
Janet Rind had long since stopped putting the words “important” and “meeting” into the memos she sent to Jimi Clerk while he was still a Captain, because it diminished the likelihood of him actually attending such events. Naturally, she assumed correctly that this would be necessary upon his return to starship captaining as an Admiral, but she noticed that Kathy Safeway-Clerk tended to not prioritize them as well, so the Yeoman needed a different tactic. She tended to get the best results using the keywords “catered” and “event”, though she knew that if she did that too often, they’d catch on. The only downside was actually having to have the events catered.
The latest “catered event” was called “An Event to Remember… the Names of Your Subordinates”, and was designed to be a “standard, run-of-the-mill meet-and-greet” for those who had joined the crew since Clerk’s promotion. Rind laughed to herself a little bit as she typed it up, knowing good and well that nothing on the Secondprize was “standard”…