Category: Season 4

Episode 62: It's a Rap!

Captain's Blog, Stardate: Season Finale. The trip to Andoria actually was fairly uneventful, contrary to expectations, and we all came away unscathed. That is, except for our Security Chief, Lt. Yarrrrr, who slipped on a small oil slick and fell and hit her head, putting her out of commission. As the Embassy medics took her away, she seemed frustrated, mumbling something about it "not being the way the contract was supposed to end" and her Academy loans. Women are weird. Anyways, I'm riding out the rest of the trip to Starbase Johnny 5 hoping absolutely nothing will happen.

"We're here already?" Captain Clerk had barely sat down in his Ready Room when his navigator walked in and gave him the news.

"Aye, Captain," said Lt. Eric with a smile. "I found a shortcut. We didn't even have to go over Warp 4!"

Wait, how do you...? Never mind. Best not to ask questions. "Uh, good job. Have Kato no--"

"She's already worked everything out. We even found a good parking spot!"

I leave the Bridge for five minutes and suddenly everybody goes into hyper-productivity mode. I get it, I get it.

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So... should I change my FleetBookTM status from "it's complicated" to "in an on-again-off-again relationship...again"?

Captain Clerk sat on his bed, staring blankly out his window, still trying to process what had happened the night before. Sure, he and Safeway had gotten back together before, but this time it was... weird. Perhaps it was the overall daze he had been in that night. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't even been asked. She just said it should happen and it did. He wasn't really involved in that decision, which, for all he knew, had taken place in front of Safeway's bathroom mirror as she brushed her hair that morning.

With all of this drama rolling around in his head, Clerk just couldn't handle being a Captain today. Or maybe he just didn't want Info to see him like this, because he knew it would be question after question. Regardless, he called in a Personal Day Off and attempted to relax.

The ringing doorbell didn't help.

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Episode 60: 2nd Generation Copy

Meanwhile, on another ship called Secondprize...

Captain Willie T. Wrecker stood in front of the bathroom mirror, nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. It was the morning of the first day of his first starship command. Sure, he was getting the Secondprize 2.0[beta], the big shiny new ship that was going to be the testing ground for all new technologies (thereby guaranteeing that something would be broken at all times), but still... a command is a command, and his four fateful weeks as Captain Clerk's First Officer were now ancient history. Not that he would ever hear the end of it anytime soon. Today, however, he faced one of the most monumental career decisions he'd ever have to make, one he'd dreaded ever since he got the assignment, but that he knew was inevitable:

To beard, or not to beard?

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Captain's Blog, Stardate: Date night. I can't believe I'm going through with this. "Admiral" Kathy has asked me out to go see some band I've never heard of, and then get some pizza afterwards. I'm really nervous. She says it's "just a friend thing", but I've heard that from her before...

Captain James Edgar Clerk did not know what to wear.

Not that he was one of those people who would look at a closet full of clothes and say he had "nothing to wear", of course, but he was in a bit of a quandary. His closet didn't have a whole lot in it; mostly it was just a few uniforms (including that horrid green "captains only" tunic) and those last few band t-shirts that don't fit anymore, but he can't bring himself to dispose of them. None of this, of course, was appropriate for a "date with an admiral".

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The extended stay at Starbase 404 actually turned out to be kind of a good thing, at least in terms of everybody's respective to-do lists. Some departments even reported digging into their "someday wishlists". Captain Clerk was no exception. The bees were getting some overdue attention, dossiers were getting read, webinars were being attended, and so on. Finally, he had arrived at the next-to-last thing on his list: Organizing the Ready Room.

Today is the day. This time, for sure!

Clerk stood just inside the door of his Ready Room and surveyed the chaos before him. While it could never be said that he had ever had a clean office, the recent re-modeling exacerbated the issue, especially when it was discovered that the room's new location was adjacent to an old storage closet, and somebody somewhere thought it would benefit the captain to knock down the wall between the two, leaving Clerk with both his mess and the previous captain's.

The longer he stood there, the more intimidated by the task he became. Finally, he turned around and poked his head out the door.

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